Blog Posts
Sunflowers and Sunbeams
As I gazed at my son watching the beloved bees on the salvia in our yard, I wondered if what happened earlier played in his mind. There is no way for me to know. As the afternoon sun slanted, I studied him, and thought about what he might be thinking about. Waves of sadness lapped the edges of my heart. [...]
Mourning Has Arrived
About a week ago, as cases of coronavirus multiplied across the country and social distancing became the new trend, a visitor arrived on my front porch. Unexpected, unannounced, save for the deposit of a tiny package. […]
Oh, Sweet Child of Mine
There’s a place off Highway 50, about 45 miles east of Sacramento and 60 miles west of South Lake Tahoe, that is pure gold. Well, pure gold figuratively, but also literally, in the past. Placerville is a Gold Rush era town that was a central hub for the Mother Lode region’s gold mining operations. As a hub, it had banks, [...]
Of Central Concern
My son is a homing pigeon. As am I. When little, I didn’t know what ‘sense of direction’ meant, but I knew people often said I had a good one. And besides my dimples, my boy inherited the instincts of a rock pigeon. From the time he could walk, he knew how to find his way to, and from, certain [...]
Bakery Blitz
Teenagers are not always breakfast-loving creatures. Weekday mornings are often chaotic, so a sit-down, well-balanced, post-sleep meal featuring foods from every level of the nutrition pyramid isn’t likely to happen. From about age 15 on, getting Zach to eat breakfast before school became a challenge. Weekends were a different story. He would devour pancakes with lots of syrup and practically inhale [...]
Heading Into Understanding
His eyes fixated on Zach like a lion’s on an antelope. So much so that he didn’t – at first – see my glaring eyes turn toward him. I stepped slowly behind Zach as he slowly circled the table topped with little ceramic planters and fake plants. Zach ran his thin fingers over the plastic leaves. He was oblivious to [...]
Nobody Nose the Trouble I’ve Seen
A close inspection of Zach’s nostril, something we don’t habitually do, revealed a reddened area of concern. After a month-long wait to see an ENT, in we went. I had tried to schedule a time when Zach’s home program aide could go along. Doctor visits have gone decently well in the past, but a crying baby in the waiting room [...]
The Point of the Portrait
When 800 numbers show up in caller ID, I ignore them. But one day recently, as a message was recording, I heard a voice say my son’s name, so I picked up. It was a portrait studio asking about scheduling a session. For a senior portrait. My heart skipped a beat. I knew the day would come that Zach would [...]
Why I Must Live Forever
This happens all the time. Every setting, different people, but mostly at school. And I don’t blame anybody; how could those not around him all the time know?? […]
Brown, Down, and (not) Out
Sitting in my kitchen several years ago, I wrote a list of things I did not want to forget to pack. Moving is definitely a major task, fraught with stress and chaos. I’ve moved several times in my life, and it seems there is always something left behind, something that goes missing in the process. I didn’t want to increase [...]
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