Beautiful~Butterfly~Boy

I can’t recall exactly when Zach began noticing butterflies. It’s a love affair that’s been going on for quite a while now. It may have started after the bees. During the lockdowns in 2020 and 2021, which kept him home from school for 14 months, we made a daily trek around our neighborhood. During those strolls he started watching and listening to bees. He’d take himself over to a shrub or a patch of flowers and put his sweet face into them to get up close and personal with the black and yellow fellows. No fear. He’d gaze at them for as long as we’d let him. He then began turning his head to listen to the buzz of these tiny pollen collectors. His face would light up, and he would stand there, still and quiet, listening to their mesmerizing hum.

©KeriMeHome

Around that time, I became fascinated with butterflies. I had noticed them, but really admired them after reading a book by Roma Downey called Box of Butterflies. Her stories, watercolor illustrations, and quotations touched my heart. The gentle, winged creatures took on a new meaning for me, thanks to her deeply personal and touching stories. Although they may have flounced around my yard before unbeknownst to me, I started noticing an array of butterflies coming by almost everyday. It was delightful, and of course, anything that brought delight during covid lockdowns was a good thing.

©KeriMeHome

As Zach’s bee interest faded, which may have occurred after both of us were stung on our feet (on separate occasions) he began vocalizing whenever a butterfly appeared. I found it fantastic, since I was smitten with them. He was either pointing them out to me because he knew I admired them, or, he was himself smitten and was showing me his interest like he had done with the bees. Maybe it was a little of both.

Regardless, butterflies seemed to be popping up all the time. Zach would spot them in our yard, on walks, on bike rides, in parks, in parking lots, you name it. Then, one day, when he was excitedly pointing to something outside of Big Lots, I searched for a set of wings somewhere close by. I looked for the whiteness of a Cabbage or the blackness of an Admiral. Didn’t see one. But Zach persisted, so I had to figure out what it was.

©KeriMeHome

I scanned the area carefully, like Columbo on a crime scene. I noticed a billboard across the street, and on the billboard was an ad with a little butterfly. When I told him I spotted it, he reacted with delight and laughter. Ever since, he finds and shares every single butterfly sighting, whether it’s the real deal or an image.

One never knows where butters are going to pop up! Zach has found images of them in ordinary (and not so ordinary) places. He’s discovered butterflies on bumper stickers, people’s water bottles, fluffy throw blankets, hair barrettes, and Bibles. He’s spotted them on keychains, cards, tea kettles, candy wrappers, kitchen utensils, keepsakes, and knee socks.

©KeriMeHome

One time, during dinner, he began pointing excitedly at my knife. Why my knife? It stumped me. I ran through a series of questions, all replied to with a no head-nod. Then I saw a tiny black speck on the side of the knife. Using a magnifying glass, I finally figured it out. He had (naturally) spotted a butterfly imprint on the blade about the size of a pinhead. Oh, the satisfaction when I got it right for him.

His ability to find all-things-butterfly has expanded into anything non-butterfly but shaped like a butterfly. Familiar with the Honda logo? How about maple seed pods? (I knew them as poly noses when I was a child.) Just the semblance of these delicate insects is enough to warrant an enthusiastic spotting. And I just love it.

Photo Credit: Pexels

With Zach so skilled at spotting butterflies, one might wonder if the opposite is true. Could a beautiful butterfly spot Zach?

One bright, sunshiny day, we were playing around in the backyard when my hawk-eyed young man noticed a friend flitting about the flowers. A Western Tiger Swallowtail was looking for lunch. We watched it for a fascinating but brief moment, and then it soared above the trees and disappeared. Its appearance was fleeting but very special…

Zach was all smiles, and we rejoiced over seeing this beautiful creature in our yard. We’ve been treated to many a Monarch dining on our flowers. We’ve had some Painted Ladies and several Gulf Fritillaries. Of course the Cabbage butters are abundant. And, last summer, we were treated to an unusual visitor: the Sphinx Moth. Although not a butterfly, it’s large pink and gray wings and hummingbird-like beak thrilled us when it came for nightly supper in the salvia.

©KeriMeHome

Excited to see the swallowtail, Zach and I entered the pool. I had just finished saying, “Zach, what a treat that was to see the swallowtail!” when over the fence and toward us flew the yellow angel. We spotted it simultaneously and turned our noses skyward to see it. It came back for dessert! Yellow wings glimmered in the sunlight like Marshall’s gold in Sutter’s Mill. It hovered above our heads like a little helicopter. We stood still in the water beneath it, watching it, when, to our surprise, it ceased fluttering and positioned both wings above itself, upright, as if they were stuck together.

Slowly, the swallowtail sunk…it was descending from the sky toward the water; it’s own invisible elevator going down. I was suddenly alarmed. Why was it falling vertically downward toward the water? It didn’t tumble or roll; just slowly came straight down. I cupped my hands to catch it, thinking it was at risk of hitting the water and damaging its regal wings. What happened next stunned me.

When the swallowtail glided down far enough to meet Zach’s eyes, it spread its exquisite wings and stopped there. It gave itself just enough of a light flap to keep itself in front of Zach’s face. With apparent intention and curiosity, it moved closer to his face. It made another light, barely perceptible movement of its wings to keep afloat. Standing about two feet away, I bore witness to this amazing spectacle. Boy and butterfly were locked in synchronous gazes. If butterflies can smile, I am certain it did so. Zach’s eyes were twinkling with delight; his own smile wide and wonderful. I stood still and took a picture with my heart.

I held my breath, in awe, and so that an exhalation would not propel this delicate angel away. The swallowtail stayed suspended for…eight, maybe ten seconds. Was it spotting the butterfly spotter? Was it intentionally treating my butterfly lover to a close-up, fantastic view of itself? Whatever it was, it was marvelous.

With a mightier thrust of its wings, it lifted straight up like a little luminescent balloon. It circled Zach’s head a number of times in its own display of joy, and then, exuberantly, the swallowtail sailed over the tall branches of our Lady Banks’ roses and bid us goodbye.

I had never seen anything like this, and I may not see such a sight again. I will cherish this sweet, astounding moment; in my heart, I know Zach will as well. I wonder what each saw in the eyes of the other. Matthew 6:22 states The eye is the lamp of the body, and Roman philosopher Marcus Cicero said The face is a picture of the mind as the eyes are its interpreter. Because I know Zach as I do, the butterfly must have seen his good and pure heart. His gentle soul. His tenderness and innocence. I like to think that when it spotted him, it must’ve felt safe in his presence. Safe, and, perhaps, compelled to give Zach, as a gift, a moment of sheer joy.

For a boy whose heart is for butterflies, this meant everything.

The swallowtail returned to our yard that day, lingered as it chose, and allowed itself to be vulnerable in the presence of something much larger and stronger than itself. I think that’s trust. To behold this mutual trust and adoration felt like a heaven-sent gift. I thanked the butterfly for this wondrous visit and gave gratitude to God.

Zach continues his butterfly spotting; everyday, everywhere we go. It’s remarkable just how often someone shows up in close proximity to Zach with something butterfly related: just the other day, we parked the car, got out, and directly in front of us sitting in a window was a woman covered in butterflies. (Naturally, he noticed). Once, when walking on a secluded, remote beach along the Mendocino coastline, he spotted a person carrying a beach towel with yellow and blue butterflies.

©KeriMeHome

Our yellow butterfly, God’s yellow butterfly, will remain my most cherished spotting. As unique symbols of strength through fragility, rebirth after change, and freedom following confinement, I garner hope from butterflies. I am certain that sometimes, for Zach, living with autism is lonely. Sometimes, as a family with special needs, we need some hope when things feel dark. Butterflies remind me of God’s presence and His promises. As Roma writes in her book, “I can’t explain it, but throughout my life, at the precise moments I need a sign of hope, I see a butterfly, and it always serves as a reminder of God’s love and reassurance that I am not alone.” I hope our swallowtail delivered that message to Zach that day. In fact, I know it did. And just maybe, every single one he spots becomes the bearer of this beautiful butterfly message.