As a special needs parent, it’s pretty common to feel clobbered by all the things you face each day. In my case, autism gives me a good kick in the pants every so often. Sometimes too often. (Note: Identifying “autism” as the kicker and not my child is definitely intentional; what afflicts him wreaks havoc on him, and often times, pain drives his behavior – I am not blaming him for the things that happen as a result of the situation).

OCD makes you do things you might not ordinarily do, like pull and push on the kitchen faucet every time you use it. Today I will be heading to a hardware store (I prefer ACE over the big-box-no-one-around-to-help-you stores) in search of a replacement spout for the reverse osmosis faucet. I can’t prevent the compulsion Zach has to push and pull with all his might on the spout each time he sees a tiny droplet of water dangling from the tip. I try to understand it by thinking that the droplet must feel like a thorn in his body to him, and the only path to comfort is removing it. I just wish the removal was gentle. But it’s not, and trying to combat the sheer force only makes things worse. So I will do what I can with a new part and a youtube video to get it flowing again. Then I’ll get myself a nice tall glass of water (and perhaps add a splash of vodka to it).

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